Zane’s Log 9/2/2038

You know what doesn’t go together?

Toddlers and magic.

I’ve been in battle fields, tracked down murderers, suffered abuse, endured torture, but nothing is as terrifying as a two year old with magic. Now take that horrifying image and double it and that is my current state of existence.

Two toddlers + magic = apocalypse

Okay, maybe not quite the apocalypse, but our sleep and nerves have taken an apocalyptic hit.

It seems like Colleen and Adrian were born just the other day.  I’m not sure when those tiny eating machines turned into screaming, climbing, magic welding monsters.

I didn’t grow up with any special abilities beyond telepathy, and I had tutors that taught me how to control it from a very early age. Katarina didn’t come into her powers until she was around sixteen, and she had to slog through the migraine-inducing horror of telepathy on her own. It never occurred to either of us that toddlers could do anything other than puncture our ear drums. We found out around the time they hit a year that they excelled at not only the auditory version, but the mental one as well. Granted, we knew before then that they would be telepathic, but projecting thoughts takes practice. Or so we silly adults thought. I suppose when Mommy, Daddy, Grandda, and Uncle use telepathy regularly around them, it’s no harder than learning to talk.

You know what you can’t block with earplugs? A telepathic shriek.

Colleen is a shrieker. Adrian is a yeller. They used to sleep through the night until they discovered these exciting new skills.

There’s nothing like being jerked awake at 3 a.m. by a telepathic “Dada!” with no volume control whatsoever.  Katarina can maintain her mental walls and filters while sleeping. I have not figured out that trick, try as I might. Whether the kids hollered “Mama” first, I have no idea. Probably. She remained blissfully sleeping. I was the one that got up and put them back to bed. They were awake, bored, and both had wet diapers.

Of course.

Together, they have managed to wake me every damn night for the last month. I’m considering sleeping in Fairy tonight.

So where does magic come in, you might ask?

Earth is a different place since magic was unbound, but in many ways much the same. The average magik (person capable of using magic) doesn’t possess that much skill. There are outliers, of course, but it still takes most people a long while to master reliably reproducing, say, making your spoon stir your coffee. It takes so much effort, that most don’t bother. Oh, they may learn simple warding spells that someone else designed and they can just copy, but humans and Fae are very different in their approach to magic.

Since the twins are only a quarter Fae, we didn’t really expect much of any matter-energy manipulation, which is really what magic is, until they were much older and had studied it, like Mages do. Thus, we didn’t put a binding spell on them, or their room, or the house, or take any of the precautions Finn told us (after the fact) he took with Kieran.

So, the other night we were reading “AlphaOops: The Day Z Went First“. My wife loved the book as a kid and still had her copy from childhood. Anyway, the kids loved it. They seemed very taken with Z and Zebra, not that they could actually say or think the word for that matter. (On a side note, I find it humorous that the way they say words verbally is the same way they think of it.) After the book, Katarina and I tucked them in, kissed them goodnight, and I went to bed early, knowing they’d likely wake me up in the middle of the night.

Sure enough, at 3 a.m. I got shrieked awake. I went into their room and I maybe did a little shrieking of my own. There may also have been some curse words involved, but thankfully, the kids do not understand Truscan….that I am aware. There was a Zebra in their bedroom nibbling on the carpet. Colleen bounced up and down on her toddler bed, laughing like a tiny, demented loon. Adrian clapped and said, “Oo Dada!” (Look, Dada!—for those who don’t speak toddler)

WTF does one do with a Zebra at 3am?

Had my hollering not woken Katarina, it’s possible I might have stood there staring at it until morning. I admit, when she jolted and gave a yelp at the sight of the zebra I felt a whole lot better. I was beginning to wonder if the sleep deprivation was taking a toll on my sanity.

As it was a living zebra, clearly the kids had not conjured it. Not possible. You can’t conjure a living thing. You can summon one though. We took the twins to the zoo at least once a month when the weather was nice. No doubt the zoo was now missing a zebra.

We have spawned tiny, loud, thieves. Great. Since Katarina runs the Judgment Council (legal body that tries criminal cases when magic is used to commit a crime) do I still have to file a report?

Katarina managed to trace the energy back to the zoo and she shifted it back to it’s home. I suck at that. Give me a computer with sensor displays any day.

We didn’t see any news stories about disappearing zebras in the morning or extra ones, so it appeared our children’s foray into thievery went unnoticed.

We then promptly warded their room against magic. We didn’t even bother to tell them why they couldn’t use it. After all, two year olds aren’t known for their rational thinking. Still, it took us a good hour to get the kids back to sleep after they quit crying that they wanted the “Eeba ba.” (Zebra back)

It took all day to modify the house wards so only the twin’s energy was suppressed….and then the twins went outside and the zebra appeared in the backyard.

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