Zane’s Log- Earth date August 24, 2038

I’m allergic to Earth.

I was so excited, not just to be with my beloved, but here, on Earth–the ancestral home of all galactic humans. A year and half went by fine and then BAM! Sneezing, sniffling, itchy eyes, stuffy nose. It’s worse than the time I had the Zulian flu. I tried the little pills at the pharmacy, but they didn’t do any good. Katarina mumbled something about metabolism when she ran some tests. I braved my way through spring, but as we are now nearly to fall with no sign of my symptoms abating, Katarina dragged me to the allergist.

No one has allergies on Trusca or Yopmar. Of course, there aren’t any trees or grass there either, outside of parks. I confess, the parks seemed such sad, pathetic places of what nature once was I avoided them. Katarina says I probably didn’t stay in any one place long enough to develop allergies. She’s probably right–as usual.

My father-in-law laughed for ten solid minutes when I came home from the allergist today. I really wanted to shoot him, but Katarina gave me that look. She didn’t even have to say anything. I know that look. I like getting laid and I adore her. So, I didn’t shoot her father.

Instead, I get to be shot. Okay fine, I’m being dramatic. Katarina and the allergist discussed options and decided that traditional allergy shots were the safest way to treat my allergies. Did I mention Earth doctors still use needles?

Yes, I know I survived torture, but NEEDLES! ?


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